Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story Chapter 11~12

Chapter 11 Lather, Rinse, Repent The Animals were humming the wedding march when Tommy walked in the store. Tommy was rattled from the cab ride from Telegraph Hill. Evidently the cabdriver, who had a nervous tic and the habit of screaming, â€Å"The fuckers!† at indeterminate intervals and for no particular reason, felt that if you weren't going to top a hill without all four wheels leaving the ground and land in a shower of sparks, you might as well not top it at all, and, in fact, should avoid it by taking a corner on two wheels and crushing your passengers against the doors. Tommy was sweat-soaked and a little nauseated. â€Å"Here comes the bride,† Troy Lee said. â€Å"Fearless Leader,† Simon said, â€Å"you look like you just left a three-toweler.† Simon measured the success of any social event by the number of towels it took to clean up afterward. â€Å"Was a time in my life,† Simon would say, â€Å"when I only owned one towel and I never had any fun.† â€Å"You're not still pissed at me?† Tommy asked. â€Å"Hell, no,† Simon said. â€Å"I had me a three-toweler myself tonight. Took two choir girls from Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt out in the truck and taught them the fine art of slurping tadpoles.† â€Å"That's disgusting.† â€Å"No, it ain't. I didn't kiss 'em afterward.† Tommy shook his head. â€Å"Is the truck in?† â€Å"Only fourteen hundred cases,† Drew said. â€Å"You'll have plenty of time to plan the wedding.† He held out a stack of bride magazines to Tommy. â€Å"No, thanks,† Tommy said. Drew chucked the magazines behind him and held out a can of whipped cream with his other hand. â€Å"Take the edge off?† â€Å"No, thanks. Can you guys stack the truck? I've got some stuff I want to do.† â€Å"Sure enough,† Simon said. â€Å"Let's go do it.† The crew headed to the stockroom. Clint stayed behind. â€Å"Hey, Tommy,† he said, his head down, looking embarrassed. â€Å"Yeah?† â€Å"A pallet of kosher food came in tonight. You know, getting ready for Hanukkah and everything. And it's supposed to be blessed by a rabbi.† â€Å"Yeah. So?† â€Å"Well, I was wondering if I could say a few words over it. I mean, they're not washed in the Blood or anything, but Christ was Jewish. So†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Knock yourself out, Clint.† â€Å"Thanks,† Clint said. Taken with the Spirit, he scurried off to the stockroom. Tommy went to the news racks by the registers and gathered up an armload of women's magazines. Then, glancing over his shoulder to make sure that none of the Animals was watching, he took them into the office, locked the door, then sat down at the desk and began his research. He was about to move in with a woman for the first time, and he didn't know a thing about women. Maybe Jody wasn't crazy. Maybe they were all that way and he was just ignorant. He flipped quickly through the tables of contents to get an overview of the female mind. There was a pattern here. Cellulite, PMS, and men who don't commit were the enemies. Delightfully light desserts, marriage, and multiple orgasms were the allies. Tommy felt like a spy, as if he should be microfilming the pages under a gooseneck lamp in some back room of a Bavarian castle stronghold, and any minute some woman in SS gear would burst in on him and tell him that she had ways of making him talk. Actually, that last part wouldn't be too bad. Women seemed to have some collective plan, and most of it seemed to involve getting men to do stuff that they didn't want to do. He skimmed an article entitled: â€Å"Tan Lines: Sexy Contrast or Panda Bear Shame? – A Psychologist's View,† then flipped to one entitled: â€Å"Men's Love for Sports Analogies: How to Use Vince Lombardi to Make Him Put the Seat Down.† (â€Å"When one player falls in, the whole team gets a wet butt.†) He read on: â€Å"When it's fourth and ten and Joe Montana decides to go for it, would his linemen tell him that they won't go to the store to get him tampons? I don't think so.† And: â€Å"Of course Richard Petty doesn't want to wear a helmet, but he can't drive without protection either.† By the time Tommy got to the warnings about never using Wilt Chamberlain or Martina Navratilova as examples, he was completely disenchanted. How could you deal with a creature as devious as woman? He turned the page and his heart sank even further. â€Å"Can You Tell Him He's a Lousy Lay?: A Quiz.† Tommy thought, This is exactly the kind of thing that made me stay a virgin until I was eighteen. 1. It's the third date and you're about to have an intimate moment, but when he drops his shorts you notice he's less blessed than you expected. Do you: A: Point and laugh. B: Say, â€Å"Wow! A real man at last.† Then turn and snicker to yourself. C: Say, â€Å"Is that what they mean by microbiology?† D: Just go ahead with it. He might be shamed into making a commitment. And what do you care if all your sons are nicknamed Peewee? 2. You decide to do the dread deed, and just as things are starting to get hot he comes, rolls over, and asks, â€Å"Was it good for you?† You: A: Say, â€Å"God, yes! That was the best seventeen seconds of my life!† B: Say, â€Å"Sure, as good as it gets for me with a man.† C: Put a Certs in your navel and say, â€Å"That's for you, Mr. Bunnyman. You can have it on your way back up, after the job is finished.† D: Smile and throw his car keys out the window. 3. After fumbling in the dark, he thinks he's found the spot. When you tell him that's not it, he forges ahead anyway. You: A: Grab the lamp off the nightstand and beat him with it until he gets off you. B: Grab the lamp off the nightstand and beat him to death with it. C: Grab the lamp off the nightstand, turn it on, and say, â€Å"Would you look where you're at?† D: Wait patiently until he finishes, wishing the whole time that you had a lamp on your nightstand. The phone in the office rang. Tommy closed the magazine. â€Å"Marina Safeway.† â€Å"Tommy, is that you?† Jody asked. â€Å"Yeah, I have on my phone voice.† â€Å"Look, you're registered into room two-twelve at the Van Ness Motel – the corner of Chestnut and Van Ness. There's a key waiting for you in the office. The papers and keys for my car are on the bed. I left some papers for you to take to Transamerica and some money too. I'll meet you at the motel office a little after sunset.† â€Å"What room are you in?† â€Å"I don't think I should say.† â€Å"Why? I'm not going to come in and jump you or anything.† â€Å"It's not that. I just want things to be right.† He took a deep breath. â€Å"Jody?† â€Å"Yes.† â€Å"Is there a lamp on the nightstand in your room?† â€Å"Sure, it's bolted down. Why?† â€Å"No reason,† Tommy said. Suddenly, from the back of the store, the Stones belted out  «Satisfaction » from a boom box cranked to distorted fuzz level. Tommy could hear the Animals chanting, â€Å"Kill the pig!† in the background. â€Å"I've got to go,† he said. â€Å"I'll see you tomorrow night.† â€Å"Okay. Tommy, I had a nice time tonight.† â€Å"Me too,† he said. He hung up and thought: She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked. Jeff, the failed power forward, burst into the office. â€Å"The truck is stacked, dude. The ski boat is charged! We're talking luau in the produce aisle.† The Clark 250, self-propelled, professional floor-maintenance machine, is a miracle of janitorial design. Approximately the size of a small desk, the Clark 250 sports two rotating scrub disks at the front of the machine, as well as an onboard reservoir that distributes soap and water, and a squeegeed vacuum that sucks it up. It is propelled by two overpowered electric motors that will drive its gum-rubber tires over any flat surface, wet or dry. A single operator, walking behind the Clark 250, can, in less than an hour, scrub four thousand square feet of floor, and buff it to a shine in which he can see his soul, or so the brochure claims. What the brochure neglects to mention is that if the squeegee is retracted and the vacuum turned off, a single operator can slide along behind the Clark 250 on a river of soapy froth. The Animals called the machine the ski boat. When Tommy came around the corner of aisle 14, he saw Simon, shirtless, wearing his cowboy hat, cooking weenies over thirty cans of Sterno on a stainless-steel rack that normally was used to display potato chips. â€Å"I love the smell of napalm in the morning,† Simon said, waving a barbecue fork. â€Å"It smells like victory.† â€Å"Cowabunga!† Drew screamed. He was sliding through two inches of soapsuds behind the ski boat, towing Lash toward a makeshift ramp by a length of clothesline. Lash hit the ramp, went airborne, and flipped in the air with a battle cry of â€Å"Workman's Comp!† Tommy stepped aside as Lash landed on his chest and plowed a drift of suds with his face. Drew powered down the boat. â€Å"Eight-two,† Barry shouted. â€Å"Nine-one,† said Clint. â€Å"Nine-six,† said Drew. â€Å"Quatro-uno,† said Gustavo. â€Å"A four-one from the Mexican judge,† Simon said into his barbecue-fork microphone. â€Å"That's got to hurt his chances for getting into the finals, Bob.† Lash spit out a mouthful of soap and coughed. â€Å"The Mexican judges are always tough,† he said. He wore a beard of suds that made him look like a thin, wet version of Uncle Remus. Tommy helped Lash to his feet. â€Å"Are you okay?† â€Å"He's fine,† Simon said. â€Å"His personal trainer is here.† Simon grabbed a coconut off the shelf and lopped the top off with a huge knife from the meat department. â€Å"Dr. Drew,† he said, holding the coconut out to Drew, who took a pint of rum from his hip pocket and splashed some in the shell. â€Å"Down this,† Simon said, handing the coconut to Lash. â€Å"Kill the pig, partner.† The Animals chanted â€Å"Kill the pig† until Lash had downed the whole drink, coconut milk and rum washing streams though his beard of suds at the corners of his mouth. He stopped to breathe and threw up. â€Å"Nine-two!† Barry shouted. â€Å"Nine-four,† Drew said. â€Å"Six-one,† Simon drawled. â€Å"Penalty points for chunks.† â€Å"Fuego,† Gustavo said. Simon jumped in Gustavo's face. â€Å"Fuego? What fucking number is Fuego? You can be disqualified as a judge, you know?† â€Å"Fuego,† Gustavo said, pointing over Simon's shoulder to the chip rack, where three dozen weenies had burst into flames and were spewing black smoke. The smoke alarm went off with a Klaxon scream, drowning out the Rolling Stones. â€Å"It rings into the fire department,† Drew shouted in Tommy's ear. â€Å"They'll be at the door in a minute. It's your job to head them off, Fearless Leader.† â€Å"Me? Why me?† â€Å"That's why you make the big bucks.† â€Å"Kill that stereo and put out the fire,† Tommy yelled. He turned and was heading for the front door just as Clint came out of the stockroom. â€Å"The kosher stuff is all blessed, and I prayed over some of the gentile food for good measure. You know, Tom, the guys said that you might be getting married, and I'm getting my minister card in the mail soon, so if you need – â€Å" â€Å"Clint,† Tommy interrupted, â€Å"clean-up in the produce aisle.† He went to the front door, unlocked it, and went outside to wait for the fire department. The bay was socked in with fog and the beam from the lighthouse on Alcatraz cut a swath across Fort Mason and the Safeway parking lot. Tommy thought he could make out the figure of someone standing under one of the mercury lights. Someone thin, dressed in dark clothing. A fire truck pulled into the parking lot, siren off, its flashing red lights cutting the fog. As the fire truck's headlights swept across the lot, the dark figure dodged and ran, staying just ahead of the lights. Tommy had never seen anyone run that fast. The thin guy seemed to cover a hundred yards in only a few seconds. A trick of the fog, Tommy thought. Chapter 12 Fashionably Doomed There were five police cars parked at the Van Ness Motel when Tommy got off the bus across the street. He thought: They've come to get me for turning in a false alarm to the fire department. Then he realized that only Jody knew that he was coming to the motel. Pity, he thought, I would have gotten a lot of writing done in prison. He crossed the street and was met at the office door by a uniformed police woman. â€Å"Crime scene, sir. Move along unless registered.† â€Å"Am registered. Need shower,† Tommy said. He'd learned his lesson about saying too much when he had talked to the angry fireman at the store. They didn't want to hear why it happened, they just wanted to be sure that it didn't happen again. â€Å"Name?† the cop said. â€Å"C. Thomas Flood.† â€Å"ID?† Tommy handed her his Indiana driver's license. â€Å"Says ‘Thomas Flood, Junior. No ‘C. ; † ‘C' is pen name. Thomas is writer,† Tommy said. The cop adjusted her baton. â€Å"Are you trying to give me a hard time?† â€Å"No, I just thought you wanted to talk that way. What's going on?† Tommy looked over the cop's shoulder at the motel manager, a tall, balding guy in his forties who was wiping fingerprints off his bulletproof window with a towel, looking as if he was going to start crying any minute. â€Å"Were you in the motel last night, Mr. Flood?† â€Å"No, I just got off work at the Marina Safeway. I'm night-crew leader there.† â€Å"You live in the City then?† The cop raised an eyebrow. â€Å"I've just been here a few days. I'm still looking for a place.† â€Å"Where can we reach you if the detectives need to talk to you?† â€Å"At the store from midnight to eight. But I'm off tonight. I guess I'll be here. What's going on?† The cop turned to the motel manager. â€Å"You have a C. Thomas Flood registered?† The manager nodded and held up a key. â€Å"Room two-twelve,† he said. The cop gave Tommy back his license. â€Å"Get that changed if you're going to stay in the City. You can go to your room, but don't cross any of the yellow tape.† The cop walked out of the office. Tommy turned to the manager. â€Å"What's going on here?† The manager motioned for Tommy to come closer to the window. The manager bent over and whispered through his talk hole: â€Å"The maids found a woman's body in the dumpster this morning – a woman from the neighborhood, not a guest.† â€Å"Murdered?† Tommy whispered. â€Å"Her and her poodle. This looks horrible for the motel. The police are talking to all of the guests as they check out. They knocked on your friend's door, but she didn't answer.† The manager passed Tommy's key through the slot, along with a business card. â€Å"They want her to call the detective at that number when she gets in. Would you give it to her?† â€Å"Sure,† Tommy said. He took the key and stood there trying to think of something to say to relieve the manager's anxiety. â€Å"Uh, sorry about your dumpster,† he said. It didn't work. The manager burst into tears. â€Å"That poor little dog,† he sobbed. On the bed were a stack of official-looking papers, a map of San Francisco, and a thick envelope filled with cash. There was a note clipped to the papers. It said: Dear Tommy, Here's the stuff to get my Honda out of impound. Use some of this cash to pay the fines. I don't know where the impound lot is, but you can ask any policeman. You will have to go to the Transamerica Building to get my last check. (I marked it on the map.) I've left a message on the personnel department's voice mail that you are coming. Good luck finding an apartment. I forgot to mention that you want to avoid getting a place in the Tenderloin (also on map). Sorry I'm being so mysterious. I'll explain everything tonight. Love, Jody Why in the hell was she being so mysterious? He opened the envelope and took out a stack of hundred-dollar bills, counted them, then put them back in the envelope. Four thousand dollars. He had never seen that much money in one place. Where did she get that kind of money? Certainly not filling out claims at an insurance company. Maybe she was a drug dealer. A smuggler. Maybe she embezzled it. Maybe it was all a trap. Maybe when he got to the impound lot to pick up her car, the police would arrest him. She had a lot of nerve signing her note â€Å"Love.† What would the next one say? â€Å"Sorry you have to do hard time in the big house for me. Love, Jody.† But she did sign it that way: â€Å"Love.† What did that mean? Did she mean it, or was it habit? She probably signed all of her letters with â€Å"Love.† Dear Insured, We are sorry but your policy will not pay for your barium enema as it was done for recreational purposes. Love, Jody. Claims Dept†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Maybe not. Maybe she did love him. She must trust him, she had given him four grand. He shoved the money in his back pocket, picked up the papers, and left the room. He ran down the steps to the ground level and tripped over a large black plastic bag full of dead woman. A coroner's deputy caught him by the arm before he fell. â€Å"Easy there, fella,† the deputy said. He was a big, hairy guy in his thirties. â€Å"I'm sorry.† â€Å"It's okay, kid. She's sealed for freshness. My partner went to get the gurney.† Tommy stared at the black bag. He'd only seen one dead person in his life, his grandfather. He hadn't liked it. â€Å"How did it†¦ I mean, was it murder?† â€Å"I'm betting creative suicide. She broke her own neck, drained out her blood, then killed the dog and jumped into the dumpster. The ME's betting murder, though. You pick.† Tommy was horrified. â€Å"Her blood was drained?† â€Å"Are you a reporter?† â€Å"Nope.† â€Å"Yeah, she was about a gallon low, and no visible wounds. The ME had to go into the heart for a blood sample. He was not pleased. He likes things simple – decapitation by cable car, massive gunshot trauma – you know.† Tommy shuddered. â€Å"I'm from Indiana. Stuff like this doesn't happen there.† â€Å"Stuff like this doesn't happen here either, kid.† A tall, thin guy in coroner blues came around the corner pushing a gurney with a small, gray, dead dog on it. He picked up the dog by a rhinestone leash. â€Å"What do I do with this?† he asked the big hairy guy. The dog spun slowly at the end of the leash like a fuzzy Christmas ornament. â€Å"Bag and tag it?† said Big Hairy. â€Å"A dog? That's a new one on me.† â€Å"I don't give a shit. Do what you want.† â€Å"Well,† Tommy interrupted, â€Å"you guys have a good day.† He hurried away to the bus stop. As the bus pulled up he looked back and saw the two coroners tucking the little dog into the woman's body bag. Tommy got off the bus at a coffeehouse near Chinatown where he had seen guys in berets scribbling in notebooks and smoking French cigarettes. If you were looking for a place to sit and stare into the abyss for a while, always look for guys in berets smoking French cigarettes. They were like road signs: â€Å"Existential Crisis, Next Right.† And the incident with the body bag had put Tommy in the mood to contemplate the meaninglessness of life for a few minutes before he started hunting for an apartment. They had treated that poor woman like a piece of meat. People should have been crying and fainting and fighting over her will. It must be some sort of protection mechanism, more of that ability that city people had for ignoring suffering. He ordered a double mocha at the counter. A girl with magenta hair and three nose rings frothed it up while Tommy searched though a stack of used newspapers on the counter, separating the classified sections. When he paid the girl she caught him staring at her nose rings and smiled. â€Å"Thought is death,† she said, handing him the mocha. â€Å"Have a nice day,† Tommy said. He sat down and began flipping though the classifieds. As he read through the apartments for rent, the money in his pocket seemed to shrink. Here was the reason why people seemed so distracted. They were all worrying about making rent. An ad for a furnished loft caught his eye. He was a loft kind of guy. He imagined himself saying, â€Å"No, I can't hang around, I've got to get back to the loft and write.† And, â€Å"Sorry, I left my wallet in the loft.† And writing, â€Å"Dear Mom, I've moved into a spacious loft in fashionable SOMA.† Tommy put the paper down and turned to a beret guy at the next table who was reading a volume of Baudelaire and building up a drift of Disc Bleu butts in the ashtray. â€Å"Excuse me,† Tommy said, â€Å"but I'm new in town. Where would I find fashionable SOMA?† The beret guy looked irritated. â€Å"South of Market,† he said. Then he picked up his book and cigarettes and walked out of the cafe. â€Å"Sorry,† Tommy called after him. Maybe if I had asked him in French†¦ Tommy unfolded the map Jody had left him and found Market Street, then a neighborhood marked â€Å"SOMA.† It wasn't far from where Jody had marked the Transamerica Pyramid. He folded up the map and tore the loft ad out of the classifieds. This was going to be easy. As he prepared to leave, he looked up to see an enormously fat man in a purple velvet robe enter the cafe carrying a leather sample case decorated with silver moons and stars. He sat at a table near Tommy, his bulk spilling over either side of the cane chair, and began removing things from the sample case. Tommy was captivated. The fat man's head was shaved and there was a pentagram tattooed on his scalp. He covered his table with a piece of black satin, then placed a crystal ball on a pedestal of brass dragons in the center. Next he unwrapped a deck of tarot cards from a purple silk scarf and placed them by the crystal ball. Last he removed a sign from the sample case and set it up on the table. It read: â€Å"Madame Natasha. Palmistry, Tarot, Divination. Psychic Readings $5.00. All proceeds go to AIDS research.† Madame Natasha was sitting with his back to Tommy. As Tommy stared at the pentagram tattoo, Madame Natasha turned to him. Tommy looked away quickly. â€Å"I think you need a reading, young man,† Madame Natasha said, his voice high and feminine. Tommy cleared his throat. â€Å"I don't believe in that stuff. Thanks, though.† Madame Natasha closed his eyes as if he were listening to a particularly moving passage of music. When he opened them again he said, â€Å"You're new to the City. A little confused and a little scared. You're an artist of some kind, but you don't make your living that way. And you've recently turned down a proposal of marriage. Am I right?† Tommy dug into his pocket, â€Å"Five dollars?† â€Å"Have a seat,† Madame Natasha said, waving him to a seat at his table. Tommy moved to the seat across from Madame and handed him a five-dollar bill. Madame Natasha picked up his tarot cards and began shuffling. His hands were tiny and delicate; his nails painted black. â€Å"What shall we ask the cards today?† Madame said. â€Å"I've met this girl. I want to know more about her.† Madame Natasha nodded solemnly and began laying the cards out on the table. â€Å"I don't see a woman in your near future.† â€Å"Really?† Madame pointed to a card on the right of the pattern he had laid out. â€Å"No. You see the position of this card? This card rules your relationships.† â€Å"It says ‘Death. ; â€Å"That does not necessarily mean physical death. The Death card can be a card of renewal, signifying a change. I would say that you recently broke up with someone.† â€Å"Nope,† Tommy said. He stared at the stylized picture of the skeleton with the scythe. It seemed to be laughing at him. â€Å"Let's try again,† Madame Natasha said. He gathered the cards, shuffled them, and began laying them out again. Tommy watched the spot where his relationship card would fall. Madame paused, then turned the card. Death. â€Å"Well, well, what a co-in-kee-dink,† Madame Natasha said. â€Å"Try again,† Tommy said. Again Madame shuffled, and again, when he laid down the relationship card, it was Death. â€Å"What does it mean?† Tommy asked. â€Å"It could mean a lot of things, depending on your other suits.† Madame waved to the other cards in the pattern. â€Å"Then what does it mean with the other cards?† â€Å"Honestly?† â€Å"Of course. I want to know.† â€Å"You're fucked.† â€Å"What?† â€Å"As far as relationships?† â€Å"Yes.† â€Å"You're fucked.† â€Å"What about my writing career?† Madame Natasha consulted the cards again, then, without looking up, said, â€Å"Fucked.† â€Å"I am not. I'm not fucked.† â€Å"Yep. Fucked. It's in the cards. Sorry.† â€Å"I don't believe in this stuff,† Tommy said. â€Å"Nevertheless,† Madame Natasha said. Tommy stood up. â€Å"I have to go find an apartment.† â€Å"Do you want to consult the cards about your new home?† â€Å"No. I don't believe the cards.† â€Å"I could read your palm.† â€Å"Will it cost extra?† â€Å"No, it's included.† â€Å"Okay.† Tommy held out his hand and Madame Natasha cradled it delicately. Tommy looked around to see if anyone was looking, tapped his foot as if he was in a hurry. â€Å"Goodness, you masturbate a lot, don't you?† A guy at a nearby table spit coffee all over his paperback Sartre and looked over. Tommy pulled his hand away. â€Å"No!† â€Å"Now, now, don't lie. Madame Natasha knows.† â€Å"What's that got to do with an apartment?† â€Å"Just checking my accuracy. It's like zeroing out a polygraph.† â€Å"Not a lot,† Tommy said. â€Å"Then I'll have to adjust my reading. I would have rated you a wankmaster of the first degree. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Considering your relationship card, I'd say it's your only option.† â€Å"Well, you're wrong.† â€Å"As you wish. Let me see your palm again.† Tommy surrendered his palm reluctantly. â€Å"Oh, good news at last,† Madame Natasha said. â€Å"You will find an apartment.† â€Å"Good,† Tommy said, pulling his hand back again. â€Å"I've got to go.† â€Å"Don't you want to know about the rats?† â€Å"No.† Tommy turned and headed toward the door. As he reached it he turned and said, â€Å"I'm not fucked.† The Sartre reader looked up from his book and said, â€Å"We all are. We all are.†

Drainflow Repairing Jobs That Fail to Satisfy Essay

William Assemiah, 12021643 Irene Aidoo, 12021610 Sroda Adzo Apam, 12021626 Asare Ohenedwira Thomas, 12021639 Dorothy Dede Aklerh Asamoah, 12021634 Sampson Abbey Armah, 12021630 Arthur Sherifa, 12021631 Amadu Waliu, 12021617 Report Summary 1. Executive Summary DrainFlow, a plumbing maintenance firm in the USA, has been losing its customers to competitors due to poor services. Job motivation and satisfaction among employees is declining across various job categories within the firm. This dissatisfaction has been attributed to the overspecialization of some job functions in the company. The report attempts to assist DrainFlow improve in three key areas: job structure and design, incentive policies, and recruitment practices. It will go further to analyze the causes of the woes being faced by DrainFlow and provide a constructive recommendation on how to overcome them The main contents include an introduction to the problems DrainFlow is encountering, analyses of the current business, and recommendations on how DrainFlow can overcome these issues to foster a long-term competitive advantage. 2. Introduction Research shows that a happy worker is a productive employee. Satisfied employees tend to be better at their workplaces. Many of the individual behaviors at the workplace are affected by job satisfaction The main contents include an introduction to the problems DrainFlow is encountering, analyses of the current business, and recommendations on how DrainFlow can overcome these issues to foster a long-term competitive advantage. The goal of this proposal is to provide recommendations for a new job structure, a new incentive structure, and new hiring practices. The job structure recommendations will allow for more cross training between office workers and service providers. This will enrich all jobs at DrainFlow by adding different tasks, autonomy, and feedback. The new incentive structure will allow for flexible benefits and recognition. This is designed to motivate  employees and improve customer service. Lastly, the new hiring practices will provide a repeatable solution for finding a cohesive set of new employees. The report consists of five (5) parts: Executive Summary, Introduction, Motivation and Job Structure Analysis, Recommendations and Implementation. 3. Motivation and Job Structure Analysis 3.1. Job Design Research shows that there is a moderate relationship between job satisfaction and job performance as well as customer satisfaction. Satisfied employees perform better at their jobs and provide better customer service. Employees of DrainFlow are dissatisfied and that is the root cause of their present situation. Generally, specialization results in cost effectiveness and delivering of core competencies among employees when jobs are complex and require years of experience and learning for mastery. It becomes an albatross when jobs have few tasks and require little skill. The bottom line is, jobs have different effects on efficiency and motivation. The current job structure of DrainFlow due to its specialization has contributed to job dissatisfaction among employees and in 25% cases, turning employees away from the company. Work groups are dissatisfied with each other’s output. The current job structure only assigned tasks without considering the interdependency of those tasks. Due to this, problems such as assigning a plumber assistant on a job meant for a plumber, and vice versa, and poor customer service have plagued DrainFlow. DrainFlow should adopt Hackman’s Job Characteristic Model to describe current jobs in the firm. The JCM has five core dimensions which include skill variety, task identity, task significance, autonomy and feedback. Skill variety is the use of different skills and talents to complete a variety of work activities. The current job- tasks in DrainFlow are very narrow and do not allow employees that skill variety. Task identity is the degree to which a job requires completion of a whole or identifiable piece. This will help communicate the interdependence of work from one group and the other through the order to bill process. Task significance is the degree to which the job affects the organization and society. There no feedback channels in the firm at present and as such it’s difficult to measure customer satisfaction. Autonomy will provide the freedom, independence and discretion in scheduling  work and determining the procedure to be used in accomplishing it. DrainFlow has a preplanned and stringent procedure to follow. Feedback will provide employees with direct and clear information about their own performance. DrainFlow’s employees haven’t that information to assess their performance. 3.2 Incentive Scheme DrainFlow has no incentive scheme in place that will motivate employees to put any extra effort on the job. The present reward system is based on skill and qualification. Plumbers are rewarded the most as compared to the others because of their level of skill and not on performance. Generally, reward systems tend to motivate employees better when they are:   linked to performance; the rewards are important, when team rewards are used for interdependent jobs and those rewards are valuable. Lee’s attempt to salvage DrainFlow by introducing the reward system is laudable but it will need a few modifications. 3.3. Recruitment Practices The current recruitment processes by DrainFlow are based on unstructured interviews by different managers thereby creating a higher level of inconsistencies in the choices of selection of employees. The use of shortcuts for judgment such as selective perception (tendency to selectively interpret what one sees based on one’s interests, background, experience and attitudes), or stereotyping (judging someone on the basis of one’s perception of the group to which that person belongs) are prevalent. Although the shortcuts may aide accurate perceptions and hence predictions, they are not full proof and may result in perception inaccuracies. Research indicates that impressions are formed within a tenth of a second, based on a first glance. Wrong perceptions may result in employees that are unqualified for the position and/or dissatisfied with work. The current situation at DrainFlow was aggravated by these perceptional recruitment inefficiencies. Most employees lack training in customer service, organizational behavior and are anxious about speaking with customers. Order processors do not have  sufficient knowledge or skill to explain the customer’s situation to DrainFlow Plumbers or Plumber Assistants. Billing representatives must deal with the negative reactions of dissatisfied customers; however, Bill processors are only involved at the end of the job process and unaware of any job details. DrainFlow plumbers are sometimes reluctant to deliver bad news of an unexpectedly high bill to customers. Furthermore, it is clear that a majority of order processors do not know any more about plumbing than customers calling in. These deficiencies have resulted in a direct negative impact on the revenue and cost savings, which were to be achieved by dividing assignments and specializing job responsibilities. 4.0 Recommendations A. Job Redesign DrainFlow work units have been overspecialized and there is little or no coordination among employees of different functional units. Therefore, we recommend a radical redesign of the job structure and business processes to achieve dramatic performance improvements and motivation. Order and Bill Processing be merged into one work unit under a job title. This will enable employees to have a first-time touch with customers. Cross training programs should be organized to enhance their knowledge of plumbing and plumbing-related activities. Feedbacks on customer satisfaction can easily be tracked. Plumbing assistants, besides performing less technical plumbing works, should be given the opportunity to do rotational job activities in Order and Bill Processing unit. This will foster a better relationship among employees, enhance skill variety, cross training; reduce boredom and increase motivation and job satisfaction. Plumbers should organize training sessions on plumbing for worker in Order and Bill Processing Unit and continue to do complex plumbing works. The training should be interactive and focus on providing skill on how to respond to plumbing problems. This is to add a variety to plumbers’ activities. B. Incentive Scheme There is no current incentive scheme in place that is capable of providing employee satisfaction and motivation. DrainFlow should introduce an incentive scheme geared towards increasing employee satisfaction. This scheme should be both intrinsic and extrinsic; it should be both skill-oriented and performancebased.   Skills in customer service, plumbing and work attitude should be considered in the scheme. Performance-based will reward employees who create and maintain high customer retention rates. At the end of any job, a customer satisfaction survey should be conducted to assess level of customer satisfaction. Results from the survey should be the bases for implementing Lee’s reward scheme. Rewarding performance should be an ongoing managerial and not just periodic. Therefore, extrinsic rewards such as performance pay should be consistent with overall management objectives, used to reinforce a motivational in which nonmonetary rewards exist such as employee recognition. C. Recruitment Practices Based on the problem analysis concerning recruitment practices in DrainFlow, we recommend that management should design a consistent recruitment procedure that is capable of finding and hiring individuals who have the skill and experience to function well on the job. The recruitment policy procedure should emphasize on: ï‚ · A brief summary judgment about the applicant’s strength and weaknesses ï‚ · Interpreting facts as they appear on resume and make judgments; highlight and comment on experience and skills only as they apply to the needs of DrainFlow ï‚ · Identifying personality  traits (such as Agreeableness, conscientiousness, openness to experience, extraversion, and emotional stability) that will improve customer service and emotional labor 4. Implementation This is probably the hardest part of it all. DrainFlow’s challenges of improving employee and customer satisfaction whiles increasing profit levels through cost containment and job performance is contingent on implementing our recommendations. However, any successful implementation of these recommendations will require support from toplevel management. The objectives of the changes should be clearly communicated to employees. DrainFlow should not do any radical changes; they should introduce the changes gradually in order of importance. Redesigning the job structure is essentially the first change management should introduce. The focus is on combining order and billing work responsibilities into a single work unit. This should be followed by cross training and weekly job rotational activities. Workers of the newly created Order and Billing Unit should be given the opportunity to clone a plumber or plumber assistant to learn the basic concepts of plumbing. This will equip them with the necessary competencies in executing order and bill processing. DrainFlow needs to implement a new incentive scheme that is capable of boosting employee satisfaction to put in more effort in their work. The proposed incentive scheme should include a financial reward system, as proposed by Lee, and an intrinsic, employee recognition program. Research has shown that financial rewards are mostly effective and deliver good results  only in the short-run. Employee loyalty and long-term motivational needs are triggered by non-financial rewards such as recognition. 5. Conclusion This report summarized recommendations on how DrainFlow will gain a competitive advantage by improving three key knobs: job structure and design, incentive scheme and recruitment practices. The recommendations are clear and understandable and should be technically easy and financially cost effective to implement. The report proposes combining some job units,  encouraging a weekly job rotational activities, cross training by utilizing the current talents available within the organization, etc. A new incentive scheme will create job satisfaction through job motivation; this will boost productivity, performance and customer retention. The new recruitment policy entails finding and training employees that fit and share the dreams and aspirations of DrainFlow. Consequently, DrainFlow will see positive changes in employee satisfaction, customer satisfaction and retention, motivation, loyalty, performance, productivity and profitability.

Audience analysis Research Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 250 words

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Quantitive methods Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2750 words

Quantitive methods - Assignment Example We shall first conduct an informal graphical analysis to get a feel for what to expect and then move on to formal tests for stationarity. We start by looking at the time plots of the two given series. Figure 2: share price of Korean Airlines Figures 1 and 2 present the time plots. Evidently, both series exhibit a gradually rising trend and some moderate persistence properties. This reflects that neither of the series are stationary. They also seem to reflect similar patterns of persistent volatility. Now, we turn to look at the first differences of the two series. Figure 3: The Korean Stock Exchange stock price index in first differences Figure 4: price of Korean Airlines in first differences. From figures 3 and 4, we find that neither series exhibits any patterns or trends. They seem to fluctuate randomly around zero. Thus, both the series of 1st differences seem to be stationary around a zero mean. Thus our preliminary graphical analysis reflects that both the series are integrated of the first order. Formally to evaluate the validity of these claims, we run Augmented Dickey Fuller (ADF) tests on the levels and the 1st differences of the two series. ... Augmented Dickey-Fuller Test Equation Dependent Variable: D(LKO) Method: Least Squares Date: 04/09/12 Time: 13:53 Sample (adjusted): 1/08/1997 12/14/2011 Included observations: 780 after adjustments Coefficient Std. Error t-Statistic Prob.  Ã‚   LKO(-1) -0.003394 0.003258 -1.041768 0.2978 C 0.024682 0.022454 1.099231 0.2720 R-squared 0.001393   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Mean dependent var 0.001348 Adjusted R-squared 0.000109   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  S.D. dependent var 0.044155 S.E. of regression 0.044152   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Akaike info criterion -3.399783 Sum squared resid 1.516653   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Schwarz criterion -3.387836 Log likelihood 1327.915   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Hannan-Quinn criter. -3.395188 F-statistic 1.085281   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Durbin-Watson stat 2.039111 Prob(F-statistic) 0.297843 Table 1 above presents the results of running an ADF test on the lko series. The choice of optimal lag is automatic based on the Schwarz information criterion or SIC. Note that the null hypothesis is that the series has a uni t root. The relevant portions have been highlighted for convenience. The t-statistic is smaller in absolute terms compared to the critical value, and the associated p-value is 0.74>0.05. Therefore, we fail to reject the null hypothesis. Thus, this implies that the series of levels of the lko is non-stationary. Now, we take first differences of the series and test its stationarity properties. This is done in table 2. Table 2: testing stationarity of the 1st differences of lko Null Hypothesis: D(LKO) has a unit root Exogenous: Constant Lag Length: 0 (Automatic based on SIC, MAXLAG=20) t-Statistic   Ã‚  Prob.* Augmented Dickey-Fuller test statistic -28.52751   0.0000 Test critical values: 1% level -3.438518 5% level -2.865035 10% level -2.568686 *MacKinnon (1996) one-sided p-values. Augmented Dickey-Fuller Test Equation Dependent

Business Conditions Analysis (2) Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words

Business Conditions Analysis (2) - Essay Example Along with this, the committee also take into consideration some of the minor economic indicators which do not reflect the overall economy like real sales. All these indicators are used in order to predict and analyze the economic activities which in turn facilitates in the process of identifying the peaks and troughs in the business cycle (NBER). National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) has specific definitions for the recession and expansion, according to which the Business Cycle Dating Committee of NBER take decisions about the important turning points of the overall economy of United States. Because of these limited definitions, the committee is unable to distinguish between the actual shift in the business cycle from the interruptions of short level (NBER). The combine use of indicators reflecting overall economy and indicators which do not reflect overall economy can raise the concern about the double counting different industries and figures. However, on the other hand this method of using and considering both set of indicators facilitates the committee in the process of identifying accurate dates of the peaks and trough as some times the broad economic indicators can present conflicting results (NBER). The most common definition of recession which has been used by different financial and economic analysts is that recession is defined as the period of two successive and repeated quarters in which the overall GDP of the economy falls. This definition is commonly known as the two quarter definition of the recession. But, National Bureau of Economic Research does not use this two quarter definition. The Business Cycle Dating Committee gives high consideration to important monthly indicators and along with this combine different set of economic indicators in order to identify important events in more efficient and

Erikson and Piaget in Action Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Erikson and Piaget in Action - Essay Example Piaget's preoperational stage and Erikson's Initiative Versus Guilt take place during the preschool years of ages three to six. Preoperational is Jean Piaget's second stage of development, which occurs during the preschool ages of three to six years. Three aspects of this stage are symbolic function, deferred imitation, and qualitative identity. "Symbolic function is the ability to use one thing as a symbol to represent something else." (Vasta et al 268). For example, the observed child used an empty laundry basket to represent driving a car. The child also used words to represent being a cat by meowing and licking hands like a cat licks paws saying, "I am a Kitty." Symbolic function develops skills used in the learning process for academic work. The teacher can develop representation by associating words with pictures to increase vocabulary, which in turn will also help increase social skills as well as academics. Deferred Imitation is when a child observes an action by someone and then imitates that action sometime in the future. For example, the caregiver of the child observed swept the floor yesterday and today the three year old is imitating her mother sweeping the floor. Deferred imitation proves not only the development of memory, but also the ability to learn by observation. Qualitative Identity is when a child knows that something does not changed even though it appears different. For example, crushing cheerios does not change them into another cereal: the cheerios are still cheerios. The sibling of the observed child ripped the three year olds' picture; the ripped picture was still her picture. However, a lack of conservation is a limitation for preschoolers in the preoperational stage. Observing the child practicing counting gave an understanding of conservation. For example, the caregiver created two rows of beads spread evenly and asked the child if they had the same number and the child answered correctly. However, when the caregiver spread one row longer then the other, the child believed that longer row had more beads than the shorter row even though both rows had the sa me number. The observed child focused only on the length of the line instead of counting the number of beads, which is an example of centration. Letting the child manipulate different objects, like clay, that can change shape and length without affecting quantity or volume can build conservation. Another cognitive skill that attribute to the academic work of preschoolers are egocentrism, class inclusion and serration. "Egocentrism is the inability to distinguish one's own beliefs from another's." (Vasta et al G-2). Children assume that a listener has all the same information that they have and this view of the world makes it difficult to understand the child when they are telling someone about their day. The caregiver of the observed child discovered difficulty when the child got hurt. The child assumed the caregiver knew how she got hurt and it took some questioning before the answer of how was give. The child was constantly referring to everything as "mine"; for example, my toys, my book, my television program. In the mind of a preschooler, the world is about them and nothing else is important. Despite the egocentric

Key Dimensions of National Culture in Saudi Arabia using Hofstede Research Paper

Key Dimensions of National Culture in Saudi Arabia using Hofstede Model - Research Paper Example Uncertainty Avoidance The day to day business of Saudi Arabia is also greatly influenced by Islamic principles; which we will analyze in the light of Hofstede model. Geert Hofstede used 5 dimensions to analyze the culture of various countries; these dimensions being power distance individualism, masculinity/femininity, uncertainty avoidance and long term orientation. Hofstede analysis for Saudi Arabia validates that their Muslim faith plays a significant role in people’s lives. (Hofstede, 1980) Their business culture puts a great emphasise on personal relationships between business associates. The Saudis prefer to do business with their family members, friends or those they are quiet familiar with. This shows that they like to be in their comfort zones, and do not trust people easily while doing business. Saudis like to have rigid codes of belief and behaviors and are intolerant of unorthodox behavior and ideas. For example, they do not approve of any unislamic habits or behav iors like drinking alcohol, eating pork, womenizing, gambling etc. This also gives an insight on the uncertainty avoidance of Saudis, which is 80 and it indicates that they prefer to avoid uncertainty in life. While doing business with familiar people, they can avoid the risk of working with someone entirely new. They have strict islamic punishments for theft, rape, murder and other crimes to put an iron hand on criminals. They have conservative dress codes in business and do not approve of modern attires. They are very risk averse in nature and avoid changes. By having rigid codes of conducts, laws, regulations, and rules they ensure that there is least amount of uncertainty and the unexpected do not happen. Power distance Saudi Arabia works in a high power distance community. Power is distributed ineuqally and there are vertical organizational structure. (Doing business in Saudi Arabia, online) Saudia is one of the few countries in the world, where the greatest power lies in the r oyal palace. Their king has the most authority in the country. Their score of 95 (Hofstede, 1980) on power distance indicates that the people accept their strict hierarichal model and do not object the unequal distribution of power. The power is usually central and most decisions are made at the top level, which are then filtered down with clear and exact directions to subordinates. The subordinates are much less empowered as compared to other cultures, and they do not have authority to make decisions. This shows their tendency to stick to tradional values and unacceptibility for modern menthods of business and governance. Collectivistic Society Saudis muslim faith compels them to stick to their families. A great emphasize on the family values is given in islam. Saudis value their families and friends, and deem them to be the most important aspects of their lives. Their decisions are largely influenced by the social setting they live in, and the responsibilities they have as family members. With a score of 25, they are very collectivistic society. They are driven by long term commitments in the form of groups. These groups consists of family, extended family and friends. Because of their muslim faith, loyalty and strong relationships with their family and friends is very important. As Islam considers all muslims as brothers and sisters, Saudis are very committed towards their fellow muslims. Maculinity Goverened by their faith, women are given great respect